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 I participated in a school event today (ಥ _ ಥ)

Unfortunately, I felt excluded the entire time. The people who I considered my best and closest friends just couldn't wait to get away from me. 

While I was strolling around the school, a lonely unremarkable soul, I felt like House. At that moment, I hated society, humanity, all of it. I detested friendships. 

But my hatred soon melted into self-deprecation. I mean, look at me. Who would want to be friends with me? What did I even expect?

A strained sardonic smile played out on my lips as I wandered further and further through the crowds of students. 

I hate socializing. I just want to curl into a ball under the stairs and hug my knees to my chest until the event ends. I don't want to feel so lost, so alone, so pitiful but gaining no one's pity. Pathetic.

I have no real friends, except for one. Yet I look down on her. I am a despicable person. I project the twisted ideologies inside me onto everyone around me. I should be alone.

But I'm not. At least not entirely. Not really. I'm surrounded by the illusion of friends, a mirage of belonging. It is a fraud nonetheless, and I don't feel like being a part of it anymore.

I don't want to care about being alone. Loneliness is better than being around idiots and freeloaders. I should be happy that I'm alone. Not many people have the same peace that I do. 

One's trash is another's treasure, so just become another (〃＾▽＾〃)

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